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JennS

Vannah is getting attached

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4We have had Vannah 3 weeks now, and she is settling in ok. She allows me to pick her up off of her cage occasionally, and from the floor any time. I can put her food in her cage without nips, and she knows when to go inside at night. She won't always allow me to put her in the cage at night. She also enjoys sitting with me and getting her head scratched. She's willinging to try a new perch too as long as I don't leave her on it.

Here's the problem... she won't do any of this for my husband. In her previous home her favorite in the house was a man, and his wife was tolerated, but was not liked. On Vannah's first night here she didn't want to go in her cage, so my husband tried to make her (without success). I feel like this might be part of his problem. Now when Vannah and I are cuddling he will try to come in and pet her or pick her up from me. He will also try to do something with her that she generally does with me.  She doesn't like that either. Now she has changed her willingness to do things with me when he is around. She will give him "kisses" though.

We need her to be at least compliant with stepping up for him and allowing him to feed her. How do you think we should go about this? We don't want him to become completely alienated from her. His solution is to be firm about his requests and continue until she complies. He isn't mean, but you can tell she isn't happy about it. I think there is probably a better way. Is it possible that her initial bedtime experience is causing this? Will she forgive him?

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Greys are quirky. Once they bond with a human, they oftentimes don't want anything to do with anyone else. It's something that he may have to accept over time, but for now it's too early to know.

I'd suggest that he do more talking and treating rather than actual physical touching until she relaxes around him. 

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On 7/25/2020 at 3:41 PM, Greytness said:

Greys are quirky. Once they bond with a human, they oftentimes don't want anything to do with anyone else. It's something that he may have to accept over time, but for now it's too early to know.

I'd suggest that he do more talking and treating rather than actual physical touching until she relaxes around him. 

Well,  I think I have convinced him not to try so hard. She's accepting treats, but not really tolerating him getting too close. I shared this info with him, and he wasn't all that excited of course. I remind him that I have been living this role with one of our other birds for 19 years, and this might just be the way it is. 😉 I hope he'll eventually get over it if she doesn't warm up. He's the one that really wanted a grey. 

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It could definitely change over time. One of my greys who was rehomed to me at the tender age of 3.5 months was a little cuddler with me for the first month. Then I made the mistake of allowing his first owner to come visit him as he was having a difficult time letting go. During that visit Fynn nipped me for the first time, and from that moment on he wouldn't have anything to do with me. I know now that it was a mistake having his first owner come over, because this little smarty pants put 2 and 2 together that I was the evil one who'd removed him from his first home.

Fast forward to today, 2 years later: Fynn allows me to scritch him through the cage bars and occasionally flies over to me, but he remains cautious of me. My daughter became his chosen one soon after his first owner's visit, so he gets plenty of love and attention. I've accepted Fynn's choice of people 100%, and believe that eventually he'll allow me to freely interact with him.

I also have a Panama Amazon who, from day one, chose my sons as his favorites. Both sons have since left the house, and now, 7 years later, he will freely step up for me. Point I'm trying to make is that it takes time. Lots and lots of time plus a huge dose of patience to establish a relationship with a bird that's clearly chosen another as his favorite. 

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